So I created this page thinking it would be good to have my little spot to vent and clear my thoughts:-) Yes I do have them, as random as they may be. Usually I make pages and forget about them, however I really hope I stick with this. I miss blogging. I used to do it on my myspace but I don't think facebook has that feature.
I went back home for the kids school break. It's always so bittersweet. I love going back home. It brings back so many good memories and creates so many new memories. However it makes me realize how much I'm missing out on by not living by family. When I look at how far we've come, and going from knowing nobody here and nothing of the area to creating a whole new life for ourselves ..sure I'm proud, but at what expense is all of this. I guess I'm becoming used to living my life at a distance from certain friends and family. I have friends here that I wouldn't be able to leave. Sometimes I feel like i live two lives, my life back home and my life here at home. If that makes any sense at all. I grew up around family. It makes me sad that my kids miss out on that. They love going to see family , both my side and Steves, and they talk about it non stop. It makes them sad to leave which in turn makes me sad. Every time I leave I feel an emptiness. Especially when I go stay for a week, and am able to visit with my nieces and my brother and sister in law. I get a taste of what it would be like to be able to just go down the street when I miss them, and it sure beats driving for hours.
We have to be where the money is. Where Steve can get a job. Sometimes I wonder if we'll ever be able to live by family. However then I'd miss the life we've made here. The friends I've made here. It almost seems like a no win situation.
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Good luck with the blog. I have one that I post on about once a month if that!! lol It was good to see you and the kids this weekend!!
ReplyDeletewell, I know what you mean, sweetie! In all my adult life, I have never lived near my own family. There was a short time while Tim was in the academy that I was in CA, but other than that, I have learned that making it on my own away from family is what helps remind me of who I am and what I really love in life. The visits back are usually short and sweet, and I am reminded when I return of why I left in the first place. Besides, if I lived near family, I never would have met YOU and I know if you or I left, I would miss my dear friend TERRIBLY! So never fear....when family is far away, friends are there to make it better, if only for a little while! Love you, hon!!! See you tomorrow???
ReplyDeleteGod Yes you will see me tomorrow!! I've missed you:-( I have to run to jazzercise in the morning. Then I have to run to wegman's after that. What about after naps? I know you said Nalia needs to have her nap:-)
ReplyDeleteHey Beck it was so great to see you. As usual my kids absolutely ADORED you. You always seem to have a way with them. Jocelyn's anxiety was acting up bad, then you started playing with them and she removed herself from my hip. For her that's huge. Trevor and Jocelyn talked about you the WHOLE way home:-) Thanks for entertaining them, and thank your dad for the little "field trip" they came home and told Steve all about that too;-)
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