So I created this page thinking it would be good to have my little spot to vent and clear my thoughts:-) Yes I do have them, as random as they may be. Usually I make pages and forget about them, however I really hope I stick with this. I miss blogging. I used to do it on my myspace but I don't think facebook has that feature.
I went back home for the kids school break. It's always so bittersweet. I love going back home. It brings back so many good memories and creates so many new memories. However it makes me realize how much I'm missing out on by not living by family. When I look at how far we've come, and going from knowing nobody here and nothing of the area to creating a whole new life for ourselves ..sure I'm proud, but at what expense is all of this. I guess I'm becoming used to living my life at a distance from certain friends and family. I have friends here that I wouldn't be able to leave. Sometimes I feel like i live two lives, my life back home and my life here at home. If that makes any sense at all. I grew up around family. It makes me sad that my kids miss out on that. They love going to see family , both my side and Steves, and they talk about it non stop. It makes them sad to leave which in turn makes me sad. Every time I leave I feel an emptiness. Especially when I go stay for a week, and am able to visit with my nieces and my brother and sister in law. I get a taste of what it would be like to be able to just go down the street when I miss them, and it sure beats driving for hours.
We have to be where the money is. Where Steve can get a job. Sometimes I wonder if we'll ever be able to live by family. However then I'd miss the life we've made here. The friends I've made here. It almost seems like a no win situation.
